


Padmé's Mean Straight Jab

by Blue_Daddys_Girl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin takes a punch, Anidala, Crack Treated Seriously, Dressing Down, F/M, Mentioned Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Mustafar, Mustafar last minute couple therapy, OOC Padme, Obi-Wan and Anakin gaping like fools, Obi-Wan desperately wants out of this argument, Obviously I mean, POV Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme gets back up, Padme has a lot to yell about, Short One Shot, Yelling, post "you turned her against me", pre-duel on mustafar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28538982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Daddys_Girl/pseuds/Blue_Daddys_Girl
Summary: 'You've turned her against me!' Anakin screamed, his eyes glowering from more than the simple reflection of Mustafar's inferno.'You've done that yourself!' Obi Wan said.Anakin paced, a predator preparing to pounce. He shook off his robes.'You'll not take her from me!'Padmé's fist flew straight and it flew true.'You kriffing idiot!' She shrieked.Padme deserved better health care, and a chance at the last word... Or many words. All the words she never got to put in. Let's hear her out!This is a bit of a crack fix it, but taken as seriously as it can be...Edit : wee Leia centric sequel is in the works.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 40
Kudos: 122





	Padmé's Mean Straight Jab

'You've turned her against me!' Anakin screamed, his eyes glowering from more than the simple reflection of Mustafar's inferno. 

'You've done that yourself!' Obi-Wan said.

Anakin paced, a predator preparing to pounce. He shook off his robes.

'You'll not take her from me!' 

Padmé's fist flew straight and it flew true. 

'You kriffing idiot!' She shrieked. 

Obi-Wan stood stock still, hand on his saber, all thoughts of using it to defend himself–or Padmé–gone from his dazzled mind. More than the punch it was the insult that froze him in his tracks. Anakin was suffering under the same spell, looking at his wife with his dark-touched eyes, a hand gingerly probing his jaw. She'd gotten him fair and square.

'I am about done with you and your entire Jedi order, and your power, your nightmares, your bullshit!'

'Padmé–'

'Shut up Obi-Wan! Don't you dare interrupt me. I wouldn't have gotten myself force-choked if you hadn't insisted on hitching a ride! Now you–' She turned back to Anakin, still gaping stupidly at her, and pointed an accusing finger close enough to poke his eyes out. 'It's all about you and how you feel! Do you even _want_ to know how _I_ feel? Does my opinion even matter? Well how about you listen to me for a second? The entire order is gone, betrayed, turns out I might have been working with a Sith lord for literal _years_ –' her voice cracked there. Though Obi-Wan could not see her face, he could feel the disgust, anger and shame roiling off of her in thick tendrils. The strength of her emotions rivalled Anakin's own through the Force. He could see it in his own mind's eye too: over a decade of knowing and collaborating with Palpatine, of relying on him, of trusting his intel, his orders. Years being a toy and a fool. Obi-Wan could certainly relate.

'Not only was I coming to terms with being a pawn in this grand masquerade, but I learn that you, the father of my children, _yes, children_ , we'll come back to that in a minute! That _you_ went and slaughtered a whole school worth of younglings. They showed it to me, Anakin. I'd love to tell you how that makes me feel, but I'd need to know how to describe it, and frankly, I'm at a loss for words. I'm married to a mass murderer who is not even on his first round of child slaughter, but his second!'

'His second?' Obi-Wan gasped.

'Silence!!' Padmé screamed.

Anakin and Obi-Wan shared a look. For a moment the old bond of padawan and master thrummed between them in a high, anxious note. But Obi-Wan had no help to offer his former padawan. He'd never seen Padmé this flustered. _Enraged_ , he corrected himself. As enraged as a nexu missing half its tail. 

'You went and killed children, then you nearly went and killed your own,' she went on, 'you claim to love me, to do all of this for me. If you cared half as much you'd not be laying your hands on me, nor spending all your time wagging your tail for Palpatine. Maybe you'd have found the time to come with me to my doctor's appointment instead, where I wanted some suspicions confirmed...'

Padmé clenched her fists, sending Anakin to sprawl on the scalding floor to avoid a blow that never came. Her hands alighted on her belly instead.

'It's twins, Anakin. Skywalker twins.'

'Padmé I–'

'You,' she cut him off, 'have not been allowed to speak. The war is over, a Sith lord is ruling the galaxy, he thinks you're his lackey, and I could break my waters any minute now, to birth children that may never know their father! Don't look at me like that, don't even try, I'd rather jump in a lava river than take pity on you of all people right now.' 

Anakin, forever walking the thin line between bold and stupid, spoke up anyway.

'All I want is for you to be safe–'

'SO YOU CHOKED ME OUT? IS THAT YOUR DEFINITION OF SAFE?'

'Err–'

'Err the nerf herder, that's you alright!'

Obi-Wan the great negotiator had never wanted to escape an argument more in his life. Yet he felt rooted to his spot, even as the heat began to creep through the sole of his shoes.  
As if reading his mind, Padmé turned to him. Her gaze was icy cold, her tone not brooking any contradiction.

'Obi-Wan, get the ship ready to fly. You, _husband_ , will get on board with me. You're going to sit right by me until we rejoin whatever is left of the order and the people we can gather against Palpatine. You will use your influence and turn against him, or so help me!' She stopped to collect her breath. She was panting, sweat plastered her hair against her face and ran in rivulets down her pale arms. 'This is your one and only chance to start redeeming yourself, Anakin. If you don't come through with it, you will lose me forever. Am I making myself understood?'

'Ah– yes?'

'Then get up, and show us what a good husband you can be, now that the war is over, and you have no one else to fight for than me and your children.'

Anakin scrambled back up to his feet, wild eyed and hesitant. He reached out to touch Padmé, recoiled before she even noticed the attempt, turned a haunted gaze towards Obi-Wan. 

'Twins you say?' He asked, voice hoarse.

'Yes. You can start thinking up names once we're en route and you've made your peace with Obi-Wan. I don't want to hear any of your wit on the trip back, master Jedis. My head _kriffing hurts_. You can kill each other once Sheev is rotting in a shallow grave.'

The two men exchanged one last meaningful look before boarding the shuttle after Padmé. A lot remained to be said and done for sure, but their agenda for the day had been drawn up and enforced. It would have to wait. For now they had a Sith to slay and a woman to appease.


End file.
